March 10 2023
2:22am
Writing

     I really, really want to write a story and actually be
able to finish it. Whenever I start projects I always have
an all-or-nothing mentality, leading to burning out over and over
again. I've been making up full storylines for six
years but I just don't seem to be able to stick to anything.
At the beginning of this school year, I started a story
about overcoming school phobia - which I've suffered
from since I was nine - but used the ocean as a metaphor
for it (I'm also scared of the ocean and its inhabitants). I
wrote eight pages (Lora, 12 point font, 1.15 spaced) and
two friends/close acquaintances told me my writing was
charming and whimsical and that 'it's obvious [I] care
about the beauty of my words'. This was incredibly
flattering and made me very happy! But I haven't picked
the story back up in months, safe from consistently
adding pretty pictures to my Pinterest board for it.
     I know I should try writing short stories first, which I
will do! But when I develop stories they're always so long
and I struggle to simply write a snippet of a character's
life, worrying about wether or not the snippet I chose of
their imaginary life truly is the 'right' one, the one that's
worth reading. And worrying about this would lead me
one of two ways: either I write more and more short
stories about the same character to ensure their best
moments are made concrete - leading me to writing a not-
short story - or I just give up and don't write. Knowing
myself, so far I've only trodden the latter path. But I like
to believe that one day I will write a story and actually be
able to finish it.